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Episode 4 Content

March 4, 2012

Local

20-something man exposes himself to two women on WSU campus

Seattle man says he threatened to assassinate the governor because aliens told him to.

Politics

Michelle Bachmann Piers Morgan battle it out.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/06/piers-morgan-michele-bachmann-rude_n_1323607.html?ref=media

Rush Limbaugh Losing sponsors over Anti-Female conversation. JOKE: Rush Limbaugh lost 2 mattress company sponsors. That’s probably not the first time a mattress has given out under pressure because of him.

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/rush-limbaugh-loses-more-sponsors-sandra-fluke-aol-gop-296807

The Romney’s on money…always an issue

Romney spoke to an empty stadium…or almost empty.

 

Global

Tajikistan blocks Facebook for the entire country.

66-year-old woman in Switzerland gives birth to twins.
$1 million reward for FBI agent who vanished in Iran

Entertainment

http://tv.yahoo.com/daytime/julia-roberts-don-t-ever-call-me-a-cougar-28528667.html
- Julia Roberts called a cougar…gets pissed.  Julia, it’s better than being called Husky…run with it.
~ it’s a fat joke and a UW joke…all in one.

Kim Kardashian donates double the worth of wedding gifts to charity.

Snooki is pregnant, reportedly engaged

 

Bristol Palin gets her own reality TV show on Lifetime

Sports

Former baseball star Lenny Dykstra sentenced to three years in prison for grand theft auto case

  • http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/05/justice/lenny-dykstra-sentencing/index.html
  • Not sure if there is a joke here (considering I am borderline sports illiterate), but I’m seeing this story everywhere.
  • Oh, did we say ‘star’ we meant ‘that guy who hit that one home run that one time’
  • That happened to me once, but I just restarted myGrand Theft Auto game and shot the cops that tried to do it the next time.
70-year-old makes it to the Olympics 
Syracuse Basketball Team repeatedly violated internal drug policy
New Orleans Saints had bounty program to injure opposing players, NFL says
  • http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/02/sport/football/saints-bounty-program/index.html
  • Joke #1: Sounds like a program the Cougar football team should adopt. Maybe then we’ll actually win some games.
  • Joke #2: BRETT: “This strategy is quickly being adopted by elementary school teams throughout the country, but given the financial state of public schools, players are instead being awarded extra recess time among other things. This makes me sick! Fifth graders should have more common sense than to stoop to the level of NFL players.” CUT TO 2-SHOT of Allison and Brett. ALLISON: “Oh please, I would lay your ass out for a gold star.” Brett looks terrified.
Identical twins named after Tony Parker and Tim Duncan
 
Drexel forward gets pantsed on tv
Nate Robinson outjumps Andre Blatchay
 
Marshawn Lynch gets a Seahawks Grill

Climate change may be an end for outdoor hockey

 Misc

schools and employers want facebook passwords

Miley Cyrus doesn’t believe in Jesus!

 
TSA auctions off items
 
Onion, garlic odor prompts 250 emergency calls in Phoenix, AZ

http://geekout.blogs.cnn.com/2012/03/01/run-for-your-lives/?hpt=hp_c2 Zombie 5k in Darlington, Maryland 

  • Harrison: Finally! A motivation for running!
  • Allison: The health benefits aren’t enough for you huh?
  • Harrison: I have better things to do… but this way I can practice for the Zombie Apocolypse! Ya know, from Zombieland, Cardio is rule number one!
  • Allison: I don’t know why I ask…

Sexist laundry tag

Obese Man’s Emotional Plea

Apple set to announce iPad 3 on Wednesday

“Run For Your Lives” Zombie apocalypse themed 5k in Maryland.
  • http://geekout.blogs.cnn.com/2012/03/01/run-for-your-lives/?hpt=hp_bn8
  • I just think this is hilarious.  Could even be a green screen segment with our correspondent at the race?
  • Allison: Apparently zombies are taking over Maryland.  So we sent Senior Supernatural Correspondent Holly Taylor to find out more.Holly: (running) Hey guys 

    Allison: How’s it going Holly? 

    Holly:  As you can see behind me Zombies have taken over Maryland.  To understand the tragedy here, picture Running with the Bulls but…with zombies. 

    Allison:  Well wait, how did this happen?

    Holly: Good question Allison, The Walking Dead enthusiast Derrick Smith organized a zombie themed 5-K fun run complete with zombies, med packs and of course, the blood pit but things have gotten out of hand.

    Allison: What’s the blood….what?

    Holly: Ugh! A 20-foot wall covered in blood duh! Watch a zombie movie Allison!  God  where’s Harrison? He knows what I’m talking about.

    Allison:  But Holly, You’ve been out of studio for almost a week.  Doesn’t a fun run last 4 hours.

    Holly:  Thank you for noticing Allison, what started out as a 4-hour fun-run has turned into a weeklong catastrophe.  But this reporter’s been preparing for years.  I pre-broke my heels, I pre-killed my cat and have emotionally disconnected myself from anyone I know so as to not get sentimental.

    Allison: Didn’t you take a class W-S-U students with you?

    Holly: Good Observation Allison, one smashed their finger so I left them behind.  I don’t know what happened to the others.  Better safe than sorry I always say.  You see, the key surviving is not to outrun the zombies but to outrun the competition. 

    Allison: Are you the only one left? 

    Holly: Obviously you don’t know your fellow Comm students.  They’re right behind me.

    Allison: wait then whose filming?

    Holly: Don’t ask stupid questions, Allison!

    Allison: We wish you luck, Holly Taylor everyone.  Stay tuned…….after the break

First ever 24-hour “Cupcake ATM” opening in Beverly Hills this Friday.
3-year old girl swallows 37 high power magnets.
Most Popular Password Revealed: Password1
  • http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/05/study-reveals-the-most-po_n_1321884.html
  • A new study from the security firm Trustwave has revealed that the most commonly used password is Pas– uhhh, wait, nevermind. 
  • A new study from the security firm Trustwave has revealed that the most commonly used password is Password1…  Wait, NOOO!!! No I meant it is NOT Password1!
  • You could even play off of Harrison freaking out at the end of Episode 2. Something like, ALLISON: “A new study from the security firm Trustwave has revealed that the most commonly used password is Password1. You’ve got to be kidding me, what kind of idiot has a password that simple?” CUT TO 2-SHOT: Harrison has his head in between his hands in despair. Can then recover in his one-shot.
Ohio mother accused of injecting teenage children with heroin before school.
Texas Girl Scouts chase after, punch men who stole cookie money
Indiana mom loses legs after saving children from tornado

Parents leave 3 year old daughter at Chuck E. Cheese, find out on evening news

Science

What sunk the titanic?
Scientists build 3-D tumor
Rosemary may boost your cognitive function
A trip to the gym actually alters your DNA
  • http://www.nature.com/news/a-trip-to-the-gym-alters-dna-1.10176
  • I was thinking maybe a break up scene…”you’re just not the same person anymore”…if we can find a clip with that…or something else…not really sure on this one. 
  • Harrison: Hey Allison, I actually went to the gym just before we started filming tonight, notice anything different about me?
  • Allison: Yes, your ego is showing.
 
Allison
Harrison
Nick
Henry
Joe
Shane
Holly and Harrison
Tim

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